browneyedgirlxo

I have so much to say.
but i don't want everyone to hear and i can't really find the wors and i don't kno whow i feel about all of it so i'll just keep quiet for now.

time is moving way too fast
i'm excited for school and all
but the sooner i'm a junior then the sooner i'm a senior
and the sooner i have to say goodbye to everyone and live on my own and wash my own clothes and be a grown up and I WANT TO GO TO NEVERLAND.

and i'm thinking maybe i'll just ignore it.
maybe i won't make such a big deal about making memories and having fun and feeling infinite and having the best friends in the whole world then it won't be so hard but i don't want to miss a thing.
ok why am i even being so freaking dramatic?

i wanna be like WHOO SUMMER 05 LIVE IT UP
but this summer hasn't eally been my favorite.
did footloose with lauren and met some cool people
and some people who think i'm really stuck up and don't like me
so because its in my nature i spent a lot of time NOT BEING MYSELF so i could maybe please them. but whatever.
my show opens tomorrow
and school starts monday
and a lot of things i thought would never really happen are starting to
but i guess they're supposed to i'm just not ready.

i'd like to talk to everyone but my computer isnt hooked up at home and right now i'm using the one at walnut grove so if somebody wants to give me a call seriously. do it. i don't care if we weren't really on good terms or if we dont really have anything to talk about or if its wierd between us or whatever. just give me a call. 404.408.2964

at my sister's house in panama city there's an elementary school across the street. during spring break i would walk over there sometimes and sit on the swings and talk to myself. not actually having a conversation with myself but my head isn't big enough to have so many thoughts swimming around and i can think about more than one thing at a time but i can only say one thing at a time so i would go and swing and walk around in the sand and sit on the slide and talk to myself till my mind was completely clear. that felt good.

maybe nobody read that but i guess maybe writing it helped me get some thoughts sorted out. i need to figure out a way to be as happy as i used to be. a legal one. a natural one.

hey you guys... you never needed it before to be happy or have fun so why now? just remember we love you.

k i think i'm done now.
sorry that was so long and insane.
just thought i'd share.
<3 kathryn tanner turk who likes sparkly limitied too belts and laguna beach and dancing and hates mustard and being by herself.